What Shapes a Donor’s Trust?

Frances Roen

Oct 1

4 min read

I recently listened to a podcast that suggested wealthier donors are less likely to trust fundraisers. It made me pause.

I think there’s more to the story.

Wealth alone doesn’t tell us how someone approaches a giving decision. It doesn’t tell us what they’ve experienced, what they’re protecting, or what they need to feel confident in a nonprofit’s plans.

When a donor asks more questions, takes longer to decide, or hesitates to make an introduction, it’s easy to interpret that as a lack of trust. But those actions may reflect thoughtful decision-making, a past disappointment, competing priorities, or a boundary we haven’t taken the time to understand.

Before we decide that someone is difficult to build trust with, I think we need to get curious about where they’re starting.

Here are six things I would consider.

1. Their experiences with money

We can know quite a bit about someone’s financial capacity and still know very little about what money means to them. Money may represent security, independence, family responsibility, or years of hard work.

Someone may have significant assets and still approach a large commitment cautiously. Our role is to understand, as best we can, their relationship with money and their relationship with philanthropy.

Assuming that a gift should be easy because someone can afford it skips over the person making the decision.

Useful questions: “What are you most proud of in your life? Where did you learn to give?”

2. Their experiences with nonprofits

A donor’s experience with another organization may walk into the room before we do.

Perhaps they made a gift and never heard what happened next. Perhaps a project changed and no one explained why. Or perhaps they had an excellent experience with a nonprofit that kept them informed and welcomed their questions.

We don’t need to defend every organization they’ve encountered. We can listen, learn what mattered to them, and be clear about what they can expect from us.

Useful questions: “Tell me about the best experience you had with a nonprofit. What made it so good for you? How have you been asked for money in the past and how was that experience?”

3. Their relationships and reputation

An introduction involves more than sharing contact information. Someone is putting their relationship—and potentially their reputation—behind it.

When a donor introduces us to a friend, that doesn’t give us permission to approach everyone in their network. And when they support a project, that doesn’t automatically mean they want their name used to encourage someone else to give.

Being careful with those boundaries gives a donor a chance to see how we handle something important to them.

Useful questions: “How would you like us to approach this introduction, and what would you like us to keep private? Would you like to be copied on our correspondence with them?”

4. Their connection to the mission and project

A donor can care deeply about the people we serve and still have questions about a particular project.

They may want to understand why a new building is necessary, how an expansion will improve services, or how the organization will sustain the work after the campaign ends.

Those are reasonable questions. We can welcome them, explain the choices behind the plan, and learn which parts of the work matter most to that donor.

Useful questions: “What about this project feels most meaningful to you, and what would you like to understand better? Specifically, what is it that we’re doing that you get excited about?”

5. Their relationship with you

Trust also takes shape through the way we show up personally.

Do we listen? Do we answer the question someone actually asked? Do we follow through when we say we will? Do we show interest in them beyond the next gift?

A donor doesn’t need to become our close friend to have confidence in us. They do need reasons to believe we will be honest, reliable, and respectful.

The question here is for us: “What have I done to give this person a reason to trust me?”

6. Their confidence in the organization

Someone may trust you personally and still need more confidence in the organization’s ability to carry out its plans.

That confidence may depend on a clear budget, credible leadership, a realistic timeline, or an honest conversation about what remains uncertain.

We don’t have to have every answer before a conversation begins. We do need to distinguish what we know from what we’re still working through AND follow up with the information we promised.

Useful questions: “What would help you feel confident in our ability to carry this project forward? What are the most critical results you are hoping your gift will help achieve?”

What this means for the speed of trust

If we want to understand how quickly a donor relationship can move forward, we need to understand what that person needs along the way.

More meetings won’t necessarily resolve an unanswered question about the budget. More enthusiasm won’t resolve a concern about privacy. A compelling case won’t replace a missed commitment.

Time alone doesn’t build trust. What happens during that time matters.

And a donor can trust us and still decline a gift. Their interests, financial timing, and other commitments also shape the decision. Respecting that decision is part of the relationship, too.

Before your next donor conversation, consider: What do I know about this person’s starting point—and what am I assuming?

Woman in a black turtle neck with blurred background.

Frances Roen is the Founder of Fundraising Sol and a fundraising consultant with two decades of experience. She is deeply passionate about relationship building, individual donor work, and supporting nonprofit professionals’ health and wellness to enable them to deliver their best work.